Pen's & Pencils

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toxic pen pal over marriage etc?

I’ve had a pen pal for years now. WE’ve shared a lot ofups and downs over the years. Lately my marriage has come under pressure and I’ve comforted myself with an old college friend. It turned into a short affair and I ended it 3 wks later. Husband doesn’t know.

Hmmm interesting situation. You two have created a relationship online. Unfortunately your pen pal doesn’t agree with what you did when it came to sleeping with a married man and cheating on your husband. There is a huge moral issue there and for a woman that is married, women like you pose a great threat to them. Her extreme reaction is most likely a personal response that she can’t separate from your story. Affairs are very heated and emotionally charged issues. There are those friends who believe that they support each other regardless of their friends choices and there are those friends that believe they have an obligation to uphold a higher standard and feel they they are obligated to holding you to that standard as well. Only you can decide how to handle it. You don’t seem in a position to want her judgment of you and you have that right. I would tell her that you know you made a mistake and you are trying to work through it, but the last thing you need is someone that you never even met making you feel like shit. The reason you enjoyed your friendship all these years was that you were able to share your thoughts and experiences without the fear of reprisal and accusations from someone. What was a safe place to share has now become a place of condemnation. So it would be best if you didn’t discuss your marriages anymore. My guess is it will get strained and eventually fade away.

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